


Crush

by caricaturecat



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Emotional Flowey (Undertale), Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Nice Flowey (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Sad Papyrus (Undertale), Suicidal Thoughts, Undertale Saves and Resets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-04-08 04:03:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19099372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caricaturecat/pseuds/caricaturecat
Summary: Papyrus isn't as ok as he lets on





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sad. Ends happy but it's sad.

Sometimes Papyrus didn’t feel as great as he let on, days when his head was just begging to be crushed to the sound of a child's giggling. On these days, he just had to put up enough of a facade, shouting and mothering, to make it past sleepy and oblivious Sans and book it out of the door. 

He pulled on his battle body reluctantly, bones shaking slightly as they did on these days. As much as he wanted to stay in sweats forever, he had to get dressed or Sans would be suspicious. And then he would know. And Papyrus couldn’t have that. All of his hard work would be for naught.

He sat on the edge of his bed and sighed, fiddling with the edge of his scarf. He wanted to move his hands to his skull, to his exposed bones, and pick at them until dust fell around him, just like they did when his skull was the only thing left of his body. When he could see the human grin that terrible grin and place their boot on his skull. Crunch. And Papyrus would be gone.

He remembered other timelines, when he was happy, when the kid only killed a few monsters, sometimes only one. And then he remembered dying, and that scared him. Not the smile or the death itself. No, he was long past being afraid of those. He was scared because he wanted it. He wanted the demon to slice his head off in a single blow, to crush it beneath their foot on days like today.

Using his arms, he stood up after a moment and faced the mirror. His face looked wrong, with bags that looked like his brother's under his eyes, his face unsmiling.  _Was it suicide if he didn't do it himself?_   Maybe he tightened his scarf a bit too hard against his neck, but he didn't care.

He practiced his lines quietly in front of the mirror, smile stretching across his face but his eyes dead and tired. The inflection was perfect, it always was. It would pass as long as Sans didn’t look too close. Papyrus counted on that. He took a few more deep breaths and opened his bedroom door. He stood in front of Sans' door, collecting his thoughts before pounding on the door. 

“SANS, WAKE UP LAZYBONES! YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN FOR BREAKFAST! I HAVE AN EARLY START TODAY!” Sans’ door swung open and the smaller skeleton rubbed his eye sockets sleepily, lazy grin in place. 

“Morning, Paps. Have fun.” Sans said, yawning, with barely a glance at his brother. Papyrus almost let out a sigh of relief (his equivalent of a victory dance on these days), before remembering present company and elected to just run out of the door. He was in a rush after all, nothing out of the ordinary. Once he was out of the front door, he slumped his shoulders and sighed in relief, exhausted.

He wasn’t going to work today, he knew that. Undyne would be fine without him. The human wasn’t going to come through here for another day or two. Instead he headed deep into the forest, into a place where the river dipped slightly. He was one of two people who knew of it. Him and Flowey.

He knew that Flowey could remember. He knew everything that Flowey had done in the other timelines. But that was for him to know and for no one else to. He sank down with a quiet, weary sigh and stared into the slow moving river. The gray reminded him of a different timeline and Papyrus unconsciously clutched at his throat, confused as to why he didn’t want his head and his body to be connected.

“Howdy!” Papyrus didn’t move, didn’t do anything to acknowledge the yellow flower that popped up at his side. “It’s been a while hasn’t it?”

“Did Toriel already chase you away?” The words slipped out before he could stop them. He stared into the river before there was suddenly a flowery face blocking his vision.

“What did you just say?” Flowey asked, his voice low and menacing. His face was drawn up into the creepy smile. Papyrus had seen it before, but it had been hundreds of times ago, it felt like years. Papyrus supposed it would be scary if he could feel anything. Flowey had his vines wrapped around Papyrus’ neck but it was too low to be dangerous.

“You’re doing it wrong.” The words were soft and drained and Flowey looked confused. Papyrus adjusted the vines to where the knife had been when the child had sliced their head off. “Now squeeze harder.”

Flowey’s face was fearful and he quickly slipped from Papyrus’ neck back into the snow. “P-Papyrus? What’s going on?” His smile was gone, and it was something new to Papyrus.

“It would be so easy.” Papyrus said, bringing his knees up to his chest. He was shaking slightly. He felt Flowey hesitate before putting a leaf on his leg.

“Papyrus? I’m scared. Please answer me.” Flowey sounded like the small child they truly were inside and it made Papyrus shake more. “What do you need? I can get the smiley trash-bag, I can get the kid. Do you need me to get Undyne? She’ll probably try to kill me but I can’t lose you.”

 “So easy.” Papyrus mumbled, dazed. 

“Papyrus? PAPYRUS!” Flowey grasped Papyrus’ face with their vines, and Papyrus was pretty sure that he saw tears in the small monster’s face. “How did I help Chara, how did I help?” He was mumbling to himself, shaking slightly. “Papyrus, do you need to talk?”

 “I’m fine Flowey.” Papyrus’ voice was drained and quiet.

Flowey decided not to press but instead pressed into Papyrus’ side. “I’m not going to leave you like this.” Papyrus couldn't smile properly but he tried at least.

It was silent, but neither of them minded. Flowey was painfully reminded of a young child who had these episodes, the reason why the knives were locked up, and decided that he would not lose another Chara. Even if this Chara was tall and skeletal and “cheerful”, Flowey was determined. He would not lose this one.


	2. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um? Y'all ok?

Do you want a second chapter? A story? Y'all seem kinda invested in this story, and while I'm happy to direct you to other stories that hit the angst real well, I am possibly willing to update this story, and make it an actual story if you want? But only if you want, so please, leave a comment and let me know if that's something you want from me!


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